I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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