did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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