some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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