If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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