My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
