Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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