maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
