All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
