well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
