Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
