Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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