Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
