i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
