IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
