is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
