There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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