My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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