I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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