I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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