if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
