you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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