I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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