just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
