Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
