I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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