With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
