So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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