Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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