Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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