Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
