Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
