I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Congratulations! We have a period
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