The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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