I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
