it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
