She's JV to your varsity
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
