White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
