It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
