I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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