So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
