im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
