So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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