i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize