I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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