so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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