Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
