Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
