is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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