with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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