things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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