IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
