Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
