the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
