I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
