At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
