Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
