It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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