He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
porn star boner night. come get it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
